My Cancer Story

I had written a Facebook post about my cancer just one month after surgery. I thought I'd share it with you all.

As some people know I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer a couple of months ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting here writing this for people to pity me or feel sorry for me. I guess its just a way of getting it all out in the open, letting it all go. 


When I got the phone call learning of it, it was just a little over a month after Isaac had left for Iraq. I was terrified, I was angry, I was so many different things all at once. Its so easy to sit and think that "oh nothing will happen to me or someone I love", until it does happen. And the realization of that is scary, very scary. It happens for a reason that we don't know, but God does. It might be for him to teach us something, or for him to use us to teach someone else something; we don't know, only he does. Which I am still unaware of. I was in denial for a month, thinking that if I just ignored it that it would go away. Thinking that if I just ignored the exhaustion, the weight loss or the hair loss that it would just all go away like a bad dream. But it didn't, it hasn't and I have to come to terms with that. Sitting here typing this, I wonder if God is using this as a way to say "Hey, remember me, you cant forget me." Who knows. 

I had a total thyroidectomy in April and I thank God that Isaac was able to get emergency leave from Iraq and fly home for my surgery and to take care of Alex and I. I love him so much. From having surgery I lost my voice, which still has not returned to normal yet. That alone has been very trying for me. But I decided that I was going to push it all out of sight, thinking out of sight out of mind. A week and a half after having surgery, I made the personal decision to start my own business in Mary Kay. I needed to do something for myself. To make me feel better about myself. I needed to prove to myself that I could become something, other than being a mom(which I love) and a wife( I love you, Baby). I started losing more hair after my surgery, for what reason I still don't know. I felt horrible, I hated myself, I hated what happened, I was mad at God, I was mad at myself. I kept asking myself why me? what did I do to deserve this? Sitting here I realize that its nothing I did or didn't do. There is a purpose behind it, wither or not its to help someone through something or for me to learn something. So who am I to be mad at God? God hurts when we hurt too. 

When I got the pathology results, I was relieved but yet apprehensive. Cause along with the cancer I had Hashimoto Thryoiditis, which is a auto-immune disease of the thyroid. It was literally attacking my immune system and destroying my thyroid. Which explains why I was sick a lot before this all. I thank God that I found out when I did, cause had I not it could have been far worse than what it was. Thyroid cancer is a slow-growing cancer, the only reason that I found out that I had it along with the Hashimoto thyroiditis is that my thyroid was swollen 3x the size its supposed to be. It is sooo important to get your thyroid levels checked. So important to not ignore persistent health problems. 

I still have to deal with the side effects, the treatments, the tests( and boy do I hate needles); but atleast I know that I have friends and family that are there. For the times when I need someone to talk to, or someone to hangout with. I hope that somehow me going through this can help someone somehow. Your life shouldn't be based on what you have, it should be based on what you do with it......


I hope that through my writing about my life (as a "crunchy" cancer survivor, Marine wife and mom) that I can somehow touch someone else's life.


*********** I had written a post about the reasoning behind me being a "crunchy" person  just a few weeks ago. I thought this one was better for my story about cancer. I have moved that post to Organic Ramblings. You can read that one HERE. *********************


*********** I stopped selling Mary Kay after I researched what was in the products. I no longer use it and only use natural chemical free products or make my own. *************